I would do almost
anything not to "be a burden."
by Alison Bonds Shapiro, M.B.A. in Healing Into
Possibility
Originally published online by Psychology Today
Originally published online by Psychology Today
Our lives are woven together. As
much as I enjoy my own company I no longer imagine I can get through a single
day, much less all my life completely on my own.
Even if I am on retreat on the
mountain for the weekend, I am eating food someone else has grown, living in a
house someone else has built, wearing clothes someone else has sewn from cloth
woven by others, using electricity someone else is distributing to my house.
Evidence of interdependence is everywhere. We are on this journey together.
Knowing this interdependence is true is great in principal, but what did it
mean when I was ill and needed help?
I remember,
as I was growing up, being carefully taught that independence, not
inter-dependence, was everything. "Make your own way." "Stand on
your two feet." or my mother's favorite admonition when I was face to face
with consequences of some action: "Now that you have made your bed, lie on
it!"
Total independence is a dominant theme in our culture. I imagine that
what my parents were trying to teach me was to take responsibility for my
actions and my choices. But the teaching was shaped by our cultural images and
instead I grew up believing that I was supposed to be completely
"independent" and consequently became very reluctant to ask for help.
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